There are a few things which drive me—the Word of God, His always pursuing love, and His sovereignty over every detail of our lives. Without these, I probably wouldn’t have made it far in my Christian walk. Life hasn’t exactly been easy.
Nine months after marrying the man I loved, we found out he had cancer. Within three years of going through the fire together, I lost him. Though that may seem to be one of the hardest trials a woman could face, I’d have to say it wasn’t, because even while I grieved God carried me. He ministered grace to my heart and gave an indescribable joy which can only be identified as supernatural.
A few years after the loss of Justin, I met Mike. He’s almost six years younger than me, and wow, the whirlwind we’ve been on! His youthful nature so different than my matter-of-fact approach to life. At first, our age difference bothered me, but with patient wooing, he finally whisked me away to the altar one June day. Honestly, I can say I’ve never regretted it.
Since then we’ve had three amazing kids. I’m sort-of hoping we’re done, but then I have these crazy notions at times, like maybe we’re not! It makes me a little nervous, because I’m getting old, and I’ve got dreams in my heart.
Which reminds me, as much as I love to write, my little ones need mothering. Sometimes they cause me to disappear from this world of social media. If you contact me and I take weeks to respond, believe me, I like you! In fact, I’ll even say I love you, because that’s the amazing thing about knowing God, He sheds His love abroad in our hearts. His acceptance of us, enables us to accept others right where they’re at—for who they are.
The other reason I sometimes disappear is that along with juggling my roles as wife and mom, I homeschool through a charter in California. My oldest is only in the second grade, but I’ve realized I love to teach. Maybe even to the point of exhausting a subject and confusing my kids. I’ve also realized I’m not very good at this whole juggling thing.
So this blog is where I write a lot about my struggles—this heart in me desiring to be more like Christ, and finding it’s impossible except by His nature imparted to me. Ultimately, it’s by the death of Jesus at the cross, and His resurrection. This power of God which raised Jesus from the dead is available to me, no matter what I face. And when I accept all as being from His good hand, He never fails to show the miraculous.