I awaken to a gray morning. The horizon is clouded by a mist. In the quiet I hear the thrum of heat swooshing through vents. With morning brew steaming in one hand, I flip my little purple Bible to Ephesians.
Beginning to read, my mind flashes back to high school. It was when I first started walking with the Lord. Every word from Paul’s epistle had jumped off its pages. I had grabbed my highlighter and made those six chapters one glob of hot pink! At church the next Sunday I eagerly sat close to the front. When my pastor said, “Open to the book of Ephesians,” my heart sunk and my cheeks burned. My pages were glowing.
Snapping back I laugh. I probably even laughed then.
My personality is more mellow, analytical, serious. I’ve learned this is the way God’s made me, and He loves me perfectly just as I am. I can’t make myself change, and God doesn’t want me any different.
I’ve also learned there are seasons in life when an outward happiness may not show, because difficulties bring sobriety. And if I’m honest it seems there’s always some heavy trial in my life. Truthfully, I’m exhausted by it.
And I thought of an interview I read with Elisabeth Elliot, who’s in the last stages of her life, plagued with dementia. The article stated she nodded her head vigorously when her husband said she’s handled dementia just as she handled the deaths of her husbands—accepting it from the Lord. It’s something she’d rather not have experienced, but she’s received from Him.
And it’s this one truth from Elisabeth Elliot’s example that’s inspired and changed my life. Our God is always good and His plans are always perfect. The good and the bad is a gift, because all our experiences are weaving together to tell the most beautiful, mind-blowing redemption story. Because of this, I can receive my circumstances with joy no matter what I face. I’m secure in His love.
Gray mornings will come and go.
Clouded horizons will clear away.
And through it all God’s promises will remain.
I want to hold fast to these truths. No more dangling arms in defeat. I want to grab my pink highlighter and mark up God’s Word, because my soul is singing for joy at the faithfulness of His character.
I don’t need to be embarrassed, because I can see past myself. I can see to His glory.
Maybe some will think I’m crazy, because a life brightened by joy is unusual in dark circumstances.
But perhaps one person will look at the pink highlighting and think, “I want a God like that.”
And they’ll flip open their Bible, and they’ll learn, too, that they’re secure in His love.